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At The End Of The Day

     When my mother passed away, I had the privilege of watching her transform.  In life, she was controlling, manipulative and rather narcissistic.  I hadn't had a relationship with her for three years prior to her passing. When she found out she had pancreatic cancer, the doctors gave her six months to a year to live.  In her mind, she determined that it was going to be six weeks and it was just about that length of time from her finding out about it to her passing.
     During the time I spent visiting her, she went down hill very quickly.  But what also happened, is that she dropped all of the protective modes she had clung to in her life.  She could no longer control, manipulate or have it all her way.  She became very loving, making amends as her time approached.  It struck me how much happier she might have been if she had been able to live her whole life in this way, but that is not the path that she chose for herself.  And it is not up to me to make any judgment on how she chose to live her life.  I just felt blessed that I was able to see her true essence as she made her transition to the next world.
     It taught me, that at the end of the day, what really matters?  We spend so much time abusing ourselves and others and caring about things that when we come to the end of our days, it really won't matter.  All the things that we just "have to have", the job we have to climb over someone else to get, the money that we have to have to be "cool".  None of it will make any difference.  What we valued so much will be given away, sold for pennies on the dollar, inherited and fought over or any number of things.  It won't be as important to others as it was to us.
     For me, at the end of the day, the only person that has to like me is me.  It doesn't matter what others think or don't think or how they act or don't act.  I am responsible for myself and my life.  Others will live their lives the way they choose to.  It isn't up to me to judge or try to change them.  It is for me to honor their choices, and I can choose to be in relationship with them or not.
     I invite you to take a few moments, or maybe lots of moments to stop and ask yourself what is important to you at the end of the day.  If tomorrow were your last day on the earth plane, what would be important to you?  If you do a life review, what will you wish you had more or less of?  Make those changes now so that you will be in your integrity, living a more authentic life…………………..

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