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Living in the Present
Who Am I Today?
Stuck In A Waiting Room


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Living in the Present

     I heard a great quote by Ida Scott Taylor the other day.  The quote went like this:  Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone.  And do not be troubled by the future, for it has yet to come.  Live in the present and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.
     I've been in that space of learning to be present this year and it is not always an easy thing to do.  The ego likes to live in the past or the future so that it has something to make you feel good or bad.  It doesn't survive in the present moment, so it's more difficult for us to be in the moment.
     Happiness seems to be so elusive for people and yet it is simply a matter of staying present.  And what a beautiful thing to make the present so wonderful, that it is worth remembering.  If we can stay in the present moment we can do just that.  Accept what is happening in your life, knowing that it is only temporary, that it too shall pass.  And in the acceptance of it, we put it to rest and don't obsess or worry about it.  If something is bothering you, just say, "I accept that right now this is painful for me, and I'm ok with that".  Or "I accept that right now I'm not happy about my job, or my marriage or my financial situation or whatever, and I'm ok with that."   You'd be surprised at how easy it is to just let the issue go once you accept it.  If not, then the ego will jump in and try to make it ok.  And it will do that through finding fault with another person, making it their fault, or it will find fault with you and tell you how bad you are.  Either way, the ego can be silenced by staying in the present moment.
     Don't get me wrong, I believe that the ego has a function and if you are able to stay in the present moment, it will function the way it is suppose to.  Looking back never gets us anywhere and looking forward is either depressing if you see bad things coming or disappointing if you see great things coming that never come.
     I invite you to create a beautiful present moment that is worth remembering.............

Who Am I Today?

     Who am I today?  Each day that we wake up, we have new cells, new thoughts and in reality, we are a different person than we were yesterday, last week, last month, last year.  And yet, we still view ourselves and others as the same person.  We get stuck in a rut of thinking that "they never change" or "I will always be like that," or  "that's who I am".  But that isn't true.  We are always changing and evolving, sometimes we are even devolving.
     I recently read a great book by Eckhart Tolle, called A New Earth.  In it he talks about our ego and pain body and how they function.  He said that often times we see things in other people that really don't exist other than in ourselves.  I found that very interesting. :-)  And I've had an amazing opportunity this year to understand how other people are mirrors for ourselves.  We tend to think outside of ourselves and project onto other people what we are in our ego state.  Being able to stay present with our ego allows us to see that it is only the external "little me" that keeps us in a state of unrest and upset.  Learning about the ego helps to keep it in check, so that we can go internally to who we really are at the core of our being.  That amazing part of consciousness that is living through us and experiencing itself in the physcial world..
     I invite you to discover who you are and who others are each and every day.  Each time you learn something, think something different, you are a new person.  And the same thing applies to those around you.  If you are able to stay in the present moment and be present with yourself and others, you will be able to see who you are and who they are each day.  Someone different than they were the day before because they have learned something and shifted who they are.  Find out who you are each day and allow that person to shine through..............


     Pride comes before a fall they say.  Lately, I've had the occasion to examine pride and what it means.  I've found that it is a word that is in the vocabulary of the ego and not one of our inner space.
     How many things has pride prevented you from doing?  How many times has it prevented you from saying what was in your heart?  How many times has it done something useful for you? :-)
     You can say, "But what of being proud of our children, or taking pride in our work?"  Being proud of something is a response of the ego.  It needs to take credit for being a good worker, or having "good" children that have done what we perceive as something to be proud of.  Are you proud of them when they do something bad?  Or is it only another means of rewarding good behavior by saying that you are proud of them?  Setting one of your standards for others to meet in order for you to be proud of them.
     How many times has pride allowed you to let go of someone or something in your life that you love, but were too proud to admit it?  Pride has stood in the way of many decisions for people that have allowed their life to go in one direction when it could have gone in a totally different direction if they had swallowed their pride and just allowed themselves to be in touch with their authentic self.
     I invite you to see how many times pride has stood in your own way and next time it comes up, try stepping away from it and letting your heart to the talking rather than your pride doing the talking.................


     Wow, I can't believe that I've only blogged twice this year!!!!  Where has the time gone?  And whatever have I been learning that I didn't pass on!!!!  :-) :-)
     Soon it will be thanksgiving and I'm reminded of all the things that I have to be thankful for.  Even those things that don't always seem to be what I ordered manage to teach me something and so I am thankful for those things as well.  I am always learning and growing from whatever experience comes my way.  I'm still on the earth plane to talk about them, so I'm thankful for that as well.
     So often we see only what we don' t have and forget to take a look at what we really do have.  We forget to praise ourselves for the hardships that we have gone through, conquered and come out the other side of.  We forget to give love and understanding and acceptance to ourselves before we have it to give to others.  We forget so many things, because we are human, and our brains can only hold so much information before it has to dump it to make room for other information.
     As the year starts heading to a close, I invite you to think of all the things in your life that are going right for you and to be thankful for them.  Be thankful for the things that haven't gone right that have taught you to look at things from a different perspective.  It can be a hard road to travel at times, but there is always magic in the air.  All you have to do is stop and decide that you want to live a magical life..........Enjoy!!!!!

Stuck In A Waiting Room

      A friend recently forwarded an email to me that talked about being in a waiting room in our lives.  It was very interesting to me and of course, as always, it made me stop and think about how that related to my life and to the life of others.
     When I am working with clients, I often see how they have gotten stuck in their story of life.  And that translates to  them being in a waiting room.  We spend time in our waiting rooms waiting for so many things in life.  We are waiting for the right job, waiting for the right relationships, waiting to retire, waiting for this and waiting for that.  And so we are stuck in a waiting room rather than moving forward with what is happening in our lives right now.
     As they are stuck in the waiting room, they are also stuck in the story they have created for themselves.  I see many people in relationships that are unhappy, where they feel they can't leave for financial reasons, or because of the kids or any number of reasons and I can see how unhappy they are as a result of it.  We've all been in that place at one time or another in our lives, not realizing that it is a choice that we have made to be there.
     Part of what I do with clients is to point out to them what their choices are.  I am not a quick fix for everything that ails them.  I'm here to help them get in touch with the root of the issue and then have them see what options they have so they can make a choice.  It basically boils down to two choices.  They can choose to continue to be miserable or they can choose to do what it takes to make themselves happy.  It seems obvious, but often times people don't see that they have other choices, because they are running on unconscious patterns from the past.  And I can help them to see what those are.
     So, I invite you to stop and see what waiting rooms you are stuck in and what it would take for you to open the door and walk into your life...............

It's How We Perceive It

     When I attended the Matrix Energetics workshop last month, I was struck by something that came up.  It was about working on other people and they said that you can only work on you in relation to someone else.  It got me to thinking about how we see other people.
     The reality is, that we can only know someone else based on our perception of them, and that perception is based on who we are, and who we are is a culmination of what we have been told or taught that we are. It is our journey in life to try to find our authentic self amidst all of this.
     So often when I am working with people, and they tell me that they are this way or that way, I ask them, "How do you know that?  Where did you learn that is how you are."   It is most often from a parent, or teacher or a peer.  It is very rare that someone can say they know they are selfish or smart or pretty, because they know it at their core.  They know it, because they met some criteria for those things that were based on who knows what.
     We will never really know another person except on a universal consciousness level, because we can only perceive them from our own set of rules.  I can think someone is very pleasant, but others may not think so.  Why?  Because they have fallen into the criteria that I have set for someone who is nice.  And where did I learn what "nice" is?  When someone judges you, it is only from their perception and based on what they've  learned.  So why care what people think?  What is important is what you think of yourself, based on knowing who you are from your own perspective.
     I invite you to think about the things you know about yourself and determine if they resonate with your core, or if they are memes that were told to you by others.  And decide what you want to keep and what you want to discard.  You may be surprised by what shows up.........................


     My quote for the day on my Facebook page today was by Mark Twain.  The quote was, "Comparsion is the death of joy."  And it struck me how often we judge ourselves by comparing ourselves to others.  Where did we get this habit, why do we feel compelled to compare ourselves?
     Comparing products is a great way to buy something.  Which one is built better, which one looks more appealing, which one is the best buy for the money?  These are all great things to consider.  But how does that carry into our personal lives?  Through competition.  From the beginning of time, we seem to feel the need to always be better than someone else.  In school, we get graded on our intellect, so we compare that to our classmates.  If I got an A I must be smarter than someone who got a B.  If I can sink more baskets in basketball, I must be more skilled.
     We are constantly comparing ourselves to others and then judging others or ourselves.  In order to make a judgement, we have to compare it to something else.  Much of that is done on an unconscious level that we aren't really aware of.  If I say someone is nice, the unstated can be thought of  "as compared to what?"  We always need something to compare to in order to make an assessment of things.
     This can be difficult when we are not aware of how we are comparing ourselves.  The other day I posted a quote that had to do with not comparing our beginning with someone else's middle.  And why do we feel the need to compare anyway?  What does it matter if someone is better at something than I am?  It doesn't.  We just like to judge ourselves because it is a habit that we acquired long ago.
     I invite you to try not comparing things for a day.  You may be surprised at how often you do it without thinking.  What if you were to buy something based on what it has to offer only?  What if when you went to the grocery store to buy an apple, you simply looked at the one that looked the best to you without comparing it to the rest around it?  If you just said, "there, that apple appeals to me in a way the others don't."  You can't really do that, because you would still be finding it appealing because you compared it to the others around it.  Comparison is our frame of reference and it is needed in many areas of our lives.  But it is not needed when it comes to comparing ourselves to others.
     We are all different in our own ways and so it can be like comparing apples to oranges.  If you want to compare, perhaps try comparing yourself to yourself.  Where am I now compared to a year ago or 5 years ago.  Who am I now compared to a year ago.  Be fair and compare apples to apples by not comparing yourself to others.  Allow you to be you just as you are..............

Being In The Moment

     I've been reading a book about staying in the now moment and realize how hard it is for people to do this.  We get so caught up in living in the past or living in the future that we forget to just breathe in and be in the present moment.
     Many of the things that people suffer from come from them living somewhere other than in this moment.  Anxiety is one of those things.  When I explain to my clients that anxiety is something future oriented they often look perplexed.  It is worrying about something that is going to happen in the future, not about something that is going on right now.  
     The egoic mind lives in the past and the future but is unable to function in the present moment.  It will chatter to us about what HAS happened or about what is GOING to happen, but it has nothing to say about what is happening right in this moment.  We give it so much power to dictate to us from what has already happened or what we think is going to happen that we miss what  really is happening.
     Our point of power is in the present.  What we do each moment determines what our past will be and what will happen in the future.  And yet we pay very little attention to the present because we are worried about the future or continually reliving our past.  What a burden.
     I invite you to really try to stay focused in the present.  It is not easy and as you attempt it, you will learn how much you are living in the past or trying to be in the future.  Stop often and just be present to what is happening at that moment.  Pay attention to your breathing, to what is in your immediate surroundings, what are you hearing, smelling seeing?  Enjoy that perfect moment in time and train yourself to continually be aware of right now and see how things will start to shift for you.  There is a reason for the old cliche, "There's no time like the present".  So enjoy it.........

The Truth

     I believe that there are universal truths, and then there are our truths.  Our truths vary depending on who we are, how we were raised and by the experiences that we have in life.  What is true to me, is not necessarily true for others.  And yet so many people assume that they are.
     Recently, while listening to an online course, the instructor talked about how it is easier to lie than to tell the truth.  It was interesting to me.  She pointed out that when we lie, we know the outcome, but when we tell the truth, we don't.  For instance, if a friend who is having an issue with someone and I think they are being unreasonable about it, and they ask my opinion, I have two options.  One, I can lie, because I know if I go along with them and say they are right, that our friendship will continue in tack and life will go on.  So I know the outcome of telling a lie.  But if I tell the truth and say that I think they are being unfair or unreasonable, I don't know what their reaction is going to be.  They might decide I'm unsupportive and get angry with me, or not want to be my friend any more or any number of reactions that I am not prepared for.  And so people choose to lie in order to "keep the peace".
     But how does that lie affect you?  Are you at peace listening and not saying anything just to preserve the peace?  Is this really a friend if you cannot express your view and if it isn't to their liking they cast you aside? Can you remember that it is only your opinion?  Can they understand that it is only your opinion?
     With social media being what it is these days, I see a lot of "opinions" posted and some angry retorts to those and some atta boys as reactions.  If you can step into that neutral place and realize that they are just stating their truth, their opinion, you can learn something from it rather than to let it anger you.  People want to be heard and the media is the place for them to do that.  It isn't up to us to judge that person for them stating their truth, it is perhaps better to allow them to state it and to try to see where they are coming from.  After all, would you rather have them tell you a lie to appease you or tell you their truth?  At least with the truth, you know where they stand.
     I invite you to try telling people the truth this week, even if it is hard to do.  See what happens.  See who appreciates you telling the truth and who would rather you lie to them to make them feel better.  The more you tell the truth, the more comfortable you get with it and with yourself...............

What Do You Say to Yourself?

    This is such an interesting topic to me.  When I am working with clients, they are very aware of all the negative things that they say to themselves.  When I ask them what they say to themselves that is positive, they tend to go blank and be at a loss for words.  I find it fascinating that we can find so many negative things to say and so few positive things to say about ourselves.
     Why is that?  Because we are used to hearing the negative about ourselves, or at least we perceive it as being negative.  Most people have a hard time with criticism.  They take it personally and take it as an assault on who they are.  When people say something about us or our work, we have the choice to take it personally or to take it as information about another person's perception.  It is amazing that we are so willing to take it personally and to do so very quickly.
     Why is that?  Because we've been trained since the time that we were young, that some things would get rewarded and some things would get us punished.  So we learned to do what would get rewarded, even if it didn't feel authentic to us.  Because let's face it, it's far better to be rewarded than punished.  And that reward was often times being loved.  When we did what our parents, teachers, friends or siblings liked, we got their love in return, so we learned to seek that which would make us feel loved, even if it didn't always feel good.
     We are not taught self love while growing up.  We are taught, and this even plays out in adulthood, that thinking we are good, lovable and worthy of respect is egotistical and conceited, so it is no wonder that we are always seeking the approval of others to let us know if we are good enough.  It is an unfortunate thing, because those other people we are looking to are looking to others and so it goes in circles.
     What would it take for you to decide who you want to be?  First you would have to come to know who you really are.  Not who you've been told you are by the countless people in your lives.  The ones who have told you that you are good or bad, ugly or beautiful, fat or thin, nice or mean.  No, you would have to come to know yourself on a core level and then decide who you want to be and then make the choice to become more of the authentic you.  This isn't easy for people to do and I've watched my clients struggle with it many times.
     So I invite you to take a look at yourself this week and come to know what is you and what is other people's perceptions and projections onto you.  Do so in a loving manner, be gentle with yourself and you may find that there is a truly amazing person there when you allow yourself to be who YOU want you to be............
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