In keeping with the last post about how the parents are a disaster, as I was out and about today, I encountered those parents that are indeed a disaster. I'm always somewhat amazed at the things parents say (threaten actually) when kids are misbehaving. What we say to our children gives the the cue as to what they are going to be saying to people in the future.
Children learn by example. So when parents are rude to their children, they learn to be rude to others. The adults that are cutting us off on the freeway, or flipping us off if we knowingly or unknowingly cut them off learned the rude behavior from somewhere. Yes, that's right, they learned it at home.
If you look at the behavior of the people that are your partners or friends, and then look at their parents, you'll have a very good idea of who you're dealing with. If the family grew up arguing around the dinner table, you will probably find those in your life like to argue, if feelings weren't discussed, then they probably won't be spilling everything to you.
We are so unaware most of the time of what we are saying to children. I listen to people use scare tactics, bribery, threats of punishment, and then they are somehow bewildered when the children are fearful or manipulative. They are just trying to adapt to their world and learning their cues from those in charge of their little minds.
If we want considerate people in the world, it has to start at home. We need to be able to respect our children and speak to them in respectful tones. If you didn't learn that behavior at home, then I invite you, if you have children, or grandchildren or you babysit the neighbors children, to listen to how you speak to them. Catch yourself and see if you are teaching them to be kind, caring adults by how you setting an example. Even if you don't have children, listen to how you speak to others and see if you can hear your parent's tone of voice or phrases. You might be surprised at what comes out……..