Why is it that we have such a difficult time holding ourselves accountable for our actions? We are so programmed into thinking that we have to be "perfect" that we will make an excuse or deny our part in situations if it makes us look bad.
This goes against our true nature. When we lie, or gossip, or omit certain facts, we need to ask ourselves why we feel we can't tell our truth. Rather than own our feelings and risk being ridiculed or rejected, we are willing to let go of our integrity and risk being found out. And the rejection that will happen when we are found out to be a liar is much worse than that which would be felt if we were to simply hold ourselves accountable and admit that we made a mistake.
I think the biggest reason that we don't own our "stuff" is because often times, we aren't even aware of it. When I work with clients and ask them questions I often find that they are simply not aware of what is really going on. They find ways to distract themselves from examining their true feelings. We are all in the "not good enough" trap in some way or another, so by making an excuse or blaming the other person, we can avoid having to feel that not good enough feeling.
When I work with people and they understand that feeling of not being good enough, I ask them, "Who are you not good enough for?" And that is the heart of the matter. It is always not good enough for someone else or by someone else's standards.
I invite you to examine your "not good enoughs". Where did they come from? Is it time to let them go and stop making excuses? Can you hold yourself accountable for your actions, admit when you are wrong and move on from it? If you don't know what it is, you can't change it...................