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Suffering

     Suffering.  Why are so many people in that mode?  Suffering is when things turn out differently than we expected.  We have hopes and dreams and when they don't come true or turn out as planned, than we experience suffering.  And what do many people do when they experience suffering?  They transfer it to someone else.
     Yes, that's the gist of the saying "Misery loves company".  When we are suffering, we think others should also, so we make their life unpleasant as a way to alleviate the suffering in our own life.  Have you ever had a bad day and then taken it out on someone else?  Come home from a bad day at work and taken it out on the husband, wife, significant other, kids.  And then excuse the behavior by saying that you had a bad day at work?  When bad things happen to us, does that somehow entitle us to take it out on others?  And they are suppose to say, "Oh, no problem, I understand"?
     Or, we transfer it to someone else via blame.  It wasn't our fault, it was so and so's fault that I'm suffering.  And so we make a story in our head about what that person did to us that justifies our suffering.
     How do we come by this attitude?  Is it one that we really want to cultivate?  To make others suffer because we are?  Or would it be better to stop and deal with it on our own and keep it to ourselves?  Wouldn't you like someone else that feels they need to transfer their suffering to you to keep it to themselves?  Does it somehow make us feel less miserable if we are able to transfer our suffering to someone else?  And we never stop to think how the other person feels after we've made them feel bad.  We will apologize, but we still feel better that we brought them into our suffering.  Otherwise, why would we do it?
     The next time that something goes wrong and you feel like making others a part of your suffering, I invite you to take a deep breath in, and keep it to yourself.  Figure out what expectation you had that didn't work out as you planned and why that should cause you to suffer.  Allow others to keep their good mood while you work through yours................

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