I was talking to a friend the other day and we were talking about past relationships. When we are no longer in them, we ask ourselves, what happened? And so many times our answer is that "they changed", "we grew apart", "we wanted different things". It is true, that these things do happen. But what I think happens that we don't pay attention to is that we changed.
I thought of my ex husband, and as I was talking it came to me that he didn't change. He was always who he was, it's just that I was looking at him through different filters when I met him. When how I filter life changed, I saw him differently. In retrospect, I can see that he was always who he is now, it's just that I am not who I was then.
This was a deep and profound understanding for me. As I grow in my awareness, I grow in my understanding of accepting people for who they are and not for what we want them to be. If we come from a place of neediness, then we will see things differently than if we come from a place of wholeness. If we are looking to others to fill a void, we will always be disappointed, because no one else can provide what we cannot provide for ourselves. It truly is an internal journey that becomes reflected into the external world. So many people try to take the external world and make it internal. And that is the road to disappointment.
When I work with people, part of the process, is understanding their model of the world, and helping them to see it clearly as well. We all see things very differently and it is important to see how we filter our perceptions. If we are coming from a place of internal happiness, we are able to see others as they are, and make wiser choices than if we are looking for someone else to fulfill our needs.
I invite you to see your past and present relationships with a different lens. Try going into their heart and seeing yourself through their eyes, what are they seeing about you? What would they say that you didn't understand about them? It is an eye opener to be able to do this...........